TV Bits

staceymayjones:

<3 Randy.

What seems to be the officer problem?

Mr. Garrison: Now when I want you to hand in your work, I may say, “Hand in your shit”.
Filmore: What about, “I have to take a shit”?
Mr. Garrison: No, Filmore! You can say, “I have to poop and shit”, or, “Oh, shit, I have to poop”, but not “I have to take a shit”.

Ms. Choksondik: Alright children, in lieu of the common usage, I’m supposed to clarify the school’s position on the word “shit”.
Stan: Wow! We can say shit in the school now?
Ms. Choksondik: Yes, but only in the figurative noun form or the adjective form?
Cartman: Huh?
Ms. Choksondik: You can only use it in the nonliteral sense. For instance, “That’s a shitty picture of me” is now fine. However, the literal noun form of “This is a picture of shit” is still naughty.
Cartman: I don’t get it.
Stan: Me neither.
Ms. Choksondik: The adjective form is now also acceptable. For example, “The weather outside is shitty”. However, the literal adjective is not appropriate. For example, “My bad diarrhea made the inside of the toilet all shitty and I had to clean it with a rag which then also became shitty”. That’s right out.