TV Bits

How do you untell something? You can’t. You can’t put words back in your mouth. What you can do, is spread false gossip… so people think that everything that’s been said is untrue. Include that Stanley is having an affair. It’s like the end of Spartacus. I have seen that movie half a dozen times and I still don’t know who the real Spartacus is. And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunnit.

We had a foreign exchange student when I was young. And, we called him my brother, and that’s what I thought he was. Um, then he went home to what is formerly Yugoslavia, taking all of my blue jeans, with him. And I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like: A fake brother who steals your jeans.

Michael: Look at how big he is! Look at you! You are so..mature, and old and… little man now. You’re like our little man.
Kevin: Little Old Man Boy.
Ryan: Michael, everybody, um—
Kevin: Bearded Man Boy.

Yeah, Ryan snapped at me. But there was this tinkle in his eye, that I picked up on, which said, “Dude, we’re friends. I’m doing this for appearances. I am the big boss now. And I have to seem like an ogre. But you know me, and you trust me and we like each other. And we’ll always be friends. And I would never take you for granted in a million years. And I miss you, man, and I love you”… His words.

George Sr.: I haven’t had sex in a month.
Michael: You know, you’ve been here two months.

G.O.B.: So you came back here to hide like a child.
Michael: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
G.O.B.: Hiding from a child. Big difference.
Michael: G.O.B., Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection.
G.O.B.: He doesn’t know what he feels! I’m tired of being told…my God, what is this feeling?
Michael: Well, you know the feeling that you’re…that you’re feeling is what many of us call “a feeling.”
G.O.B.: But it’s not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
G.O.B.: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s… it’s like my heart is getting hard. Maybe I am ready to be a father.

GOB: You mean the guy we’re meeting with can’t even grow his own hair?! Come on!
Michael: It’s called alopecia…