TV Bits

Apparently Plato, who came up with the concept of the platonic relationship, was pretty excited about it. He named it after himself. He said “Yeah, I got this new thing— “platonic”. My idea, my name, callin’ it after myself… What I do is, I go out with the girls, I talk with them— don’t do anything… and go right home. What’dya think? I think it’s going to be big!” I bet you there were other guys in history that tried to get relationships named after them, but it didn’t work. Y’know, I bet you there were guys who tried to do it, just went: “Hi, my name’s Rico. Would you like to go to bed immediately? Hey, it’s a “Riconic relationship…”

Jerry: So Sophie gave me the “it’s me” on the phone today.
Elaine: “It’s me”? Isn’t that a little premature?
Jerry: I thought so.
Elaine: She’s not a “me.” I’m a “me.”
George: I’m against all “it’s me’s”. So self-absorbed and egotistical. It’s like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes.

George: You see what just happened here?
Jerry: What?
George: She treated me to the Arabian mocha java.
Jerry: And you misinterpret this how?
George: She’s stickin’ it to me that she makes more money than me.
Jerry: I’m sure she was just being nice, buying you the coffee.
George: No, not nice. She’s stickin’ it to me.
Jerry: You’re crazy.
George: Stickin’ it to me, Jerry.
Jerry: George.
George: Stickin’ it!

GEORGE: So what happened? She throw you out? Eh?
JERRY: No actually, she took it pretty well.
GEORGE: So what happened?
JERRY: She’s into it.
GEORGE: Into what?
JERRY: The manáge. And not only that. She just called me and said she talked to the roommate and the roomate’s into the manáge too.
GEORGE: That’s unbelievable.
JERRY: Oh, it’s a scene man.
GEORGE: Do you ever get down on your knees and just thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?!

Oh no…I’m George!