TV Bits

Dr. Cox: Lindsay, by you reaching the level of attending physician, you have somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to. Obviously there was no vote. Because if there had been, you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, “Nay, nay, oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!” That being said, it’s my obligation to let you in on the organization’s one and only bylaw: We’re men.
J.D.: Yes, we are.
Dr. Cox: …The women are men. The children are men. The men, of course; men! So, I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five Man Cards. Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise, I’m going to take one from you.
J.D.: I don’t need your approval, or your stupid “Man Cards”! Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?
Dr. Cox: [Snatching one] Thank you.
J.D.: Dammit!

Nine pounds in a week!? Let me ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside someone’s clogged artery. And all that a person has to do, really, is - oh, I don’t know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that!?! And I know, I know, here I’m supposed to be Dr. Give A Crap, but you wanna know the God’s honest truth? And this is a fact - you are what you eat, and you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn’cha!

I don’t like that much freedom down there. It makes me tingle in my giblets.

Newbie! It turns out I do have some best man advice. Go easy on the mascara in case you cry during your toast. And if you’re gonna chase after the bouquet with all of the other girls, make sure you kick off your pumps so you don’t snap one of those chicken ankles of yours.

Dr. Cox: Mr Tanaka here is fatiguing and he needs to be intubated, any quetions?
JD: Yeah. Turk has asked me to be his best man, you have any advice.
Dr. Cox: nono…no I don’t…