TV Bits

Charlie: This is amazing! Look at this! Bro, you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off — right off the tip of this thing, man.
Frank: That is a find, man!
Charlie: This is an Ali Baba sword, dude.
Frank: That’s spectacular!

Charlie, show us where he touched you.

Charlie: The real map is tattooed on my body.
MAC: Get out of here! Where?
Charlie: Right here.
MAC: You can’t be serious?
Charlie: Oh I’m dead serious.
MAC: This is impossible.
Charlie: It is very possible.
MAC: Dude I’m not looking in your butt.
Charlie: You have to dude that’s the only way to find the will!
MAC: Alright but you got to swear not to tell anybody.
Charlie: I swear.
MAC: Can’t see anything.
Charlie: Look closer.  What you see?
MAC: Nothing.
Charlie: Ah, but what do you smell!?

Liam: She’s a deaf mute, the only reason she raised her hand is because you guys did.
MAC: Really?
Charlie: Well, let’s try that again.

Frank: You think you can make sense of Charlie’s map, it’s as dark as a well-digger’s ass up here.
MAC: Frank, nobody understands the subtleties of Charlie’s retardation better than me. I can guide you right to it.

Jesus Christ, the kid’s an idiot.