TV Bits

staceymayjones:

One day Michael came in complaining about a speed-bump, on the highway..I wonder who he ran over then.

Guess what? I have flaws? What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower, sometimes I spend too much time volunteering; occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. - No, don’t sue me. That’s the opposite of the point that I’m trying to make.

So I said to him, “Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here, and as for your Grandma, she shouldn’t have mouthed off like that!